I have a confession.

Food controls me, and I want it to stop. I want to stop overindulging. I really want to fit into my clothes again. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’m so sick of being slow and sluggish and weak…but I also don’t want to idolize my body again.

Saint Paul said physical training is good, but spiritual training is better. I get that. Plus, exercise had become obsessive for me at one point.

I don’t want that again. I want to be healthy without going overboard, to be strong without letting goals consume me.

Why is it so hard to find a balance?

–Written in January 2014
as I pondered my fallen nature