What I Really Want

Here’s what I really want:

Great faith and boldness. These seem to be the foundation for all the other character traits I could want, especially great love for others. I don’t think I have enough boldness for that….

The Power of the Spoken Word

Excerpt from an old journal:

The power of life and death is in the tongue.

So then…what am I speaking over myself and, more importantly, over other people? How am I using my words? To build up? To tear down? I’m called to edify others…but am I doing it?

I should ask myself these things every single day, with everything I say–that would be so hard, but there’s wisdom in pausing to reflect before we speak.

– Written in February 2014

Will I Ask You To Stay

How long will it last
This sad circumstance
Before you decide
I’m not worth a glance?
It’s only a matter of time
Give it weeks, maybe days
Will I ask you to stay?

How long will you last
In this circumstance
Before you renege
And you understand?
Before you decide
I’ve committed a crime?
Weeks, months, or days?
Will I ask you to stay?

How long will we last
Before somebody’s past
Dictates our future
And muddies the path?
Before all this pain
(Oh, I’ll want you to stay)
Consumes me to tears
As I’m feeling this way?

-Written on August 30th 2012
as I saw the writing on the wall

The Man You Don’t See

I want to run and hide
Because I’m shy?
Because I embarrass myself with
Boldness and a smile?

I guess that’s what I do
And I’ll do it again if it means
Getting through to you
Even if it only helps a little bit
I’ll start from the beginning
I’ll try it all again

Because life’s not always a dance
Things aren’t always simple
They’re not always grand
But you, friend, are worth the chance
I see it when I pray
I see you in His hands
I see the man you don’t see
The one standing there
And the one you were made to be


You move so carefully, so stealthily. Why? Are you afraid of something? You don’t seem like someone who would be afraid of anything. You’re brave. Strong. (Way stronger than me.)

Who or what inspired this…wall? It’s massive–bigger than anything I’ve ever seen–and I have no idea how to reach you on the other side. But I’m going to try. I have to, because–

Well, you won’t understand this (not yet), but your soul is crying out for something more, something real (deep crying out to deep), and it’s freedom you long for.

This won’t make sense to your rational mind, because you think you’re already free, but your freedom ends where these walls begin. You can do whatever you want, anything your heart desires…within the confine of these walls.

That’s not real freedom. It’s a prison, the kind that’s on the inside of a person.

But real, actual freedom is actually real, and I really want you to see it. To breathe it. To taste it.

I’m talking about a freedom so sweet it’s like biting into the juiciest, most delectable fruit after living off saltine crackers for years. Like drinking the finest, richest, most decadent red wine after only knowing the taste of water. It’s like living your entire life in black-and-white and then waking up one day to find everything in color.

It’s better than all of that, actually. This freedom is better than anything you’ve ever experienced, and I can show you.

If I can just reach you on the other side of this wall….Polish_20200524_163150699.jpg