The Dissonance

This is what I don’t understand
How can I walk this out
When I see no place to land?

This is where I can’t comply
My emotions inspire passion
But my heart tends to lie

I have to decide who I’m doing this for
Is it me or is it Him?
Is it “and” or is it “or”?

So then, tell me, what’s the solution?
Is grace enough for real resolution?
Do I dare to hope for true absolution?
If so, how do I get there without total destitution?

– Written November 27, 2020
as I wrestled with my brokenness and
the deep, unknowable motives of the heart